Relationships and its strains


Nothing in life is a waste of time. Not even the experiences that may feel like the worst thing ever. Those experiences show us how bad things can be. They teach us to appreciate the good. You only need to pay attention.

It is the same with relationships. I could not appreciate more the time in Aruba, even if the relationship has to be so bad that it almost broke me down in two. I learned so very much about people and life there. I learned there how not to treat other people. Besides, Henning would not have ever found me on the internet if my profile had not read; “lives in Aruba” although I already lived in Finland. Everything DOES happen for a reason.

The world is constantly changing, so are the living people. As partners we go through these changes together and share the experiences and while doing this we can keep falling in love with each other not as the person we used to be but as the person we have become.

Not only houses need to be renovated, but also people, relationships and love.

One of the known but many times forgotten secrets of how to keep a healthy relationship is; listening to each other. They say that hearing is inherent, but listening is learned (Well I really learned to listen after the stroke). In a normal every day relationship not just in marriage, nothing is more important than listening to the other people and trying our best to understand them without judging them or ourselves while doing it. If we truly learn to listen without defending or offending life would be so much easier.

Together forever, this is a goal that we set when we get married. We should not be thinking about this goal though because although this is a great milestone it can only become a wonderful achievement if we live for the day. Remember it is all about the journey, not the destination.

Do not give up when the first problem arises. I have my parents to thank for this mentality. It feels that many people these days are too eager to jump into a relationship but lack the willingness to meet each other halfway and battle through hardships. It´s so much easier to criticize and put blame on others instead of taking responsibility and fight for love.

Many people seem to know all their rights very well, but they forget about their responsibilities, and I´m not talking only about relationships.

Not all is black and white. Not everything can be defined easily in a few words. At the end all relationships, either if it is love, friendship, partnership etc. it all comes down to communication. If you cannot communicate, talk and listen, well…

One word of advice; beware of those little things. Most relationships are not going to be destroyed by the big problems. It is those seemingly little and meaningless things that we sweep under the carpet that are going to grow some day and destroy us. Do not let them be, sweep your heart clean and talk about them no matter how stupid and insignificant they may seem.

It would be a shame losing a wonderful thing all because of something as small as lice.


Comments (4)

  1. uncdeman 06.02.2015 05:05

    Löysin blogisi tässä vaiheessa kun postauksesi 59. kirjoitus oli ilmestynyt. Luettuani sen, haluaisin heti kiittää sinua olemassaolostasi ja blogisi olemassaolosta, ja että jaat näitä asioita kaikkien luettavaksi.

    Olen etsinyt aktiivisesti täältä internetin syövereistä ja blogimaailmasta turhautumiseen asti syvällisempää ajattelua. Ja ainakin kirjoituksista päätellen ilmeisen selvästi on niin, että vain yksi tuhannesta pysähtyy pohtimaan asioita – ja elämää – yhtään sen syvällisemmin.

    Kiitos Kati! Olet yksi tuhannesta. Aion varmasti lukea blogiasi.

  2. Maria-leena 07.02.2015 06:09

    Puhuminen kultaa. Vaikeneminen hopeaa.

  3. Ada 07.02.2015 06:21

    Kiitos Kati viisaasta tekstistä ja sen herättämistä ajatuksista. Kolahti todella henkilökohtaisesti näin avioeron keskellä.

  4. anne 08.02.2015 10:23

    Kiitos Kati, kirjoitus liippaa niin läheltä. Todellakin tuo puhuminen on niin tärkeää.

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