Are you lucky, or are you blessed?

05.01.2025

The tenth of January 2025 is the 30th anniversary of the day that it happened, I had a life-altering hemorrhagic stroke. In short, the stroke wasn’t immediately recognized and because of this, I have been completely paralyzed since that day. L.I.S. call it; Locked-In Syndrome (LIS, is a condition in which a patient is aware but cannot move or communicate verbally due to complete paralysis of nearly all voluntary muscles in their body except for vertical eye movements and blinking.)

(I often wonder if it is a record. I have not met or heard of someone that has had LIS longer than I do.)

Are you lucky, or are you blessed? Is there a difference you might ask, and if so, what is the difference?

To me it is very simple. A person who is blessed is such a person who is grateful for what they have. They appreciate what the universe has sent their way. They cherish, value, respect, protect the people, love, moments, and all the good in their lives. They acknowledge the blessings.

A lucky person does not do any of these. Quite the opposite, this person neglects what comes their way, being so the people, the love, the moments in all the favorable things that come their way. They don’t cherish, value, respect, or protect the blessings that come their way. They under appreciate the people, the love, the moments.

When the doctor explained what had happened to me, he used this metaphor. He said that it was like winning the jackpot in a lottery but in reverse (1 chance in tens of millions.) If you think about it and that way; You must be extremely lucky to win the lottery. What does that make me then? Utterly unlucky?

Hmm…

I will tell you what I am, I AM BLESSED!

(Souls that make you whole)

THE PEOPLE. Against the advice of medical experts and social workers, my parents took me home with them instead of putting me in an institute where I would be just one more patient. My mother fought for my rights so that I could get a pension and proper care.

(Sparks of emotions that will last forever)

THE LOVE. Family and good friends always took time to come and visit, spend time with me, and keep me in their lives.

(Precious time that remains the heart)

THE MOMENTS. My mother travelled with me all over the world with all the difficulties of travelling with a wheelchair.

(Kindness, the true affirmation of human intelligence)

THE GOOD. I had many assistants who took good care of me, some becoming good friends, and some becoming like family.

(Dreams can come true)

THE GREAT. Along the way, I met a person, a guy to share my life with, a man who took my life to another level, giving it purpose, a soul to share the love, the moments, and the good with.

I am BLESSED, … definitely.

I have learned many things about life in the past 30 years.

One of those most important lessons is that your life is what you make of it, no matter what the situation.

And the best tool to navigate life with is your perspective and your attitude.

Even what we believe is a random fact like: having luck or being blessed is a matter of mindset and behaviour.  

The truth is and will remain that no matter the circumstances, we all have the freedom and the power to choose our demeanour. And that is how we shape our lives.

So, now that I have my beliefs, I have one question for all of you.

Are you lucky, or are you blessed?

Kati (Henning) van der Hoeven 

Dedicated to my mother:

Lea Marjatta Lepistö-Applequist 13.01.1947-17.09.2023

Thank you mom ❤️❣️

The Locked-In Traveler: Californian Friendship

07.04.2020

The Locked-In Traveler

(Kati’s Wheelchair Traveling Journals)

Californian Friendship

(Click here for audio version)

After I became paralyzed, some friends just faded away. However, others reached out to me. It is just how it is; you win some you lose some. Trust me; it is not a phenomenon that only people that are struck by tragedy must go through. It is how life works, and it happens to all of us.

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The Locked-In Traveler: The Longtail Boat

29.03.2020

The Locked-In Traveler

(Kati’s Wheelchair Traveling Journals)

The Longtail Boat

(Click here for audio version)

Our stay in Phuket, Thailand in winter 2001 was one of the sun, sand, and sea. The opposite of the gray, snow, and cold of back home. We did not do anything more but drink, eat, and enjoy the warm weather. The only thing we saw in two weeks was the hotel and the surrounding areas. Well, except for a two-hour trip to the city center and a night out to see Phuket Fantasia, which is the city’s biggest show in town.

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The Locked-In Traveler: Road Trip

19.02.2020

The Locked-In Traveler

(Kati’s Wheelchair Traveling Journals)

European Road Trip

(Click here for audio version)

I cannot be spontaneous anymore. In my state, I cannot just to jump into a car and go unless it is a place very near. We must plan or at least think about where and when well, before picking up the keys. Major issues that we must consider are; timetables, assistants schedules, accessibility, and restrooms.

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The Locked-In Traveler: Grandfather´s house

03.02.2020

The Locked-In Traveler

(Kati’s Wheelchair Traveling Journals)

Grandfather´s house

(Click here for audio blog)

Even though I am born in Finland, I never liked the cold at all. People here in Finland have a saying; “It is not cold; you are just not well dressed.” I have my own saying; “no matter how nice you color coat it, no matter how well you dress, it does not change the fact that it is freezing cold.”

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Celebrating 25 Years of Locked-In Syndrome (Tribute to a Wonderful Life)

07.01.2020

Celebrating 25 Years of Locked-In Syndrome

(Tribute to a Wonderful Life)

(Click here for audio version)

January 10th, 2020, is the 25th anniversary of the stroke. An average cerebral infarction takes about six minutes. Mine took over twenty hours. In all this time, the doctors could not figure out what was going on with me. They ruled stroke out because the thinking at the time was that; only people over forty years get brain infarcts. I was only twenty years old at the time. 

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