Kati’s Stroke Focus (3)


Locked-in syndrome; my stroke aftermath episode 3

“Locked-In Syndrome,” “that is what it is called,” the doctor said. He explained that my upper brain still works perfectly, and so does my muscles. However, the messages do not go through to the muscles to make them move, and the tongue is also a muscle so that is why I cannot speak either.

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Kati’s stroke focus (2)


Locked-in syndrome; my stroke aftermath episode 2

I could not move anymore. I could not even speak. A strange case of paralysis. They ran a spinal cord test, which also came back negative. Doctors were surrounding me going through a list of possible causes. I remember hearing one of them saying; “stroke,” followed by a remark; “it cannot be a stroke, she is too young and only people over forty get strokes.”

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Kati’s stroke focus (1)


Locked-in syndrome; my stroke aftermath episode 1

Looking back, it started with headaches and dizzy spells.

Like three to four months before having the stroke, I started having headaches all the time. A month before the stroke I began to have dizzy spells from time to time. As this got worse, I went to the doctor. He ran some tests, but none of them showed anything wrong. The doctor said the tests all came back ok, I am perfectly healthy and the headaches and dizziness must be caused by stress.

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117. Attitude


Optimism is the key to open yourself up to all the better things in life. Positivism is the key to making all your dreams come true. Always be naively optimistic and always have contagiously positive attitude.

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116. Husband & Wife


”To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and to it, I plight thee my troth.”

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115. Who is Kati?


If you were to have a view of your entire life, every single element, even the littlest of details, what would you see?

Would you say that it all was predestined? Random acts. Cause and effect?

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114. Happiness


We humans like to torture ourselves. So much that one of the main pillars of religions is self-torture. We hold on to senseless rules which only tortures us. We hold on, just cannot let go of customs that only hurts the ones around us and us. We torture ourselves while we are supposedly in search for happiness.

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113. Belittling


I did not think much about how life was going to be like before moving to Finland. Kati and I are highly compatible; our communication lines are wide open. Intellectually we are in harmony and so is our sense of humor. We have a very similar attitude towards life, and it did not matter that she was paralyzed.

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112. Never give in


We are humans, we get tired, and we all need to rest from time to time. Even a woman that does nothing (cannot move) at all gets tired. Occasionally I do not feel like getting out of bed; I need a lazy day in bed just watching television. Now and then I rather am motionless in bed than be motionless in the wheelchair.

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111. A Poem



The stunning of bells echoes hypnotizing all through the night.

They play to all people

To all people in the world

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