How do you go on living after such tragedy?

27.03.2014

How do you go on living when physically you cannot live your life as you were used to? Never thought about this till recently when someone asked me this question. I could not answer because I simply did not have an answer. I have been thinking allot about this, trying to find an answer. It felt like that from all the answers that I came up with none of them really defines the answer completely.

Love, faith, hope, positivism, perseverance, desire, passion for life, the will to live, etc. They all feel like part of the answer. Even all of them together feels that way, as part of the answer no matter how much words I add to the list I always feel like I miss much more words when trying define the feeling. The only answer that I could give is a simple; “you just do because you are still alive”.

You do use all the definitions of those words as a tool on a daily basis just to go on. You can have a certain recipe of how to use these tools, but not every day is the same so you must be able to adapt and change your strategy. Some days are easy, some days you can get high on your laughter. Some days are hard, and you will end up crying. The one thing you can do when you have these days is to cry it all out so you can start the next day with a clean slate.

I am no guru; I cannot give you the right answer, the right solution to all your problems. Everybody is different; everybody has to make their recipes succeed really. I can only tell how I do it; I can give you some tips, but in the end you have to do it yourself.

I was young when misadventure struck me, I was just 20 years old. The doctors told my parents that I would not be anything more than just a vegetable. As a young girl, I cried, and I cried. Very much like wolves howling in the middle of the night (trust me, this is not a pretty picture) and I let it all out. When I was done I did what most young people do, they rebel. I have always been stubborn and at that moment in my life it came in as a great quality. I set myself to prove the doctor wrong and be more than just a freaking vegetable. I will not be anybody’s salad; I am going to be the one doing the tossing.

A good teacher would tell you where to look but not what to see.

I cannot teach you how to be the person you have to be and tell you how to be the best at it as you can be. The fact is no one can, because nobody else is YOU, and YOU are unique. I can only tell you to be true to yourself and accept yourself as you are. When you know this, you will know what you want, and you can set yourself out to reach your goals.

One word of advice. Do not believe blindly in movies, even when they do their best they can only still tell a small part of the story and your life is much longer than just 2 hours. You do not need a miracle to make your life better so you can live life  “ever after”. You have all the tools you need to live your life to your private perfection, do not be afraid to use them.

Going back to the question of; “How do you go on living, when physically you cannot live your life as you used to anymore?” Like I said before I could not come to one straight answer to define it all. But one thing that can be very helpful is a good and right motivation to keep on going. Something like love, someone to live for. Or a goal, something to strive for.

My principal goal was to someday being able again to eat all my favorite foods like pasta, hamburger, garlic dishes, etc. and to wear my beautiful shoes. No matter how shallow and stupid the goal may be who cares if it does the trick.

Rate yourself high!

Kati

 

Comments (3)

  1. Päivi Kytömäki 01.04.2014 00:12

    Mahtavaa Kati! Luen aina mielenkiinnolla sun blogia ja juttuja. Ne on niin uskomattoman valoisia ja elämänmakuisia, opiksi olis monelle. Hyvää kevättä teille sinne! t. Päivi

  2. Mörri 04.04.2014 22:50

    Thank you for this blog post! This happened to be the *first* I read, but I am going to come back for more.

    I think you gave a pretty good answer in that nutshell summary:
    “you just do because you are still alive”

    This might also apply for much larger range of life, no matter if it is typical, untypical or anything between. Life dictates its answers.

  3. Marjo 26.04.2014 01:07

    Et todellakaan mikään vihannes tai jos niin, niin en ole koskaan nähnyt kauniimpaa tai ajattelevampaa vihannesta. Vitsailut sikseen eli kiitos kauniista kirjotuksista. Siinä on meille monelle paljon miettimistä että muistaa että kuppi ei ole puoliksi tyhjä vaan puoliksi täynnä.Pidetään lippu korkealla ja minäkin yritän hymyillä ja olla tyytyväisempi tähän ei niin hassumpaan elämään.

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